Hey you, you're fat / stupid / ugly / unlucky. You're never going to get that job / partner / lucky break; who are you to think you will?
I would imagine you're reading these words and thinking crikey who on earth would speak to someone in that way? And yet we routinely speak to ourselves like that, the words may be different but I bet there isn't one person reading this who hasn't rubbished themselves at one time or another, often for really minor misdemeanors.
We put such high expectations on ourselves and yet we sometimes don't extend ourselves the same kindness and support that we would do to a good friend. Criticism withers whilst praise boosts and encourages, that applies whether it's to another person or just to ourselves. I know that for most people the 'rah rah, I'm fabulous, I can walk on water' approach is simply a bridge too far, but if we could even stop with the negative self-talk, it would be a huge step in the right direction and you will definitely begin to see a difference in how you feel, how you appear to others and also to your success.
Your unconscious mind is responsible for all your habits and behaviours and it quite literally believes everything you tell it, whether that's real or imagined, so can you see why it's so damaging to keep on putting yourself down? Even things that you consider to be quite harmless and might say on a really regular basis like 'I'm so forgetful, if it wasn't screwed on I'd forget my head'! Your unconscious mind will believe this and because it's like a child who always wants to be right, it will then begin to seek out situations to confirm these beliefs. Which is then likely to make you more forgetful.
Just for the day, could you treat yourself like a best friend? Be honest, challenge, be critical even. But do it from a kind and supportive perspective. Focus on the good things you've achieved that week / day even hour if necessary, and give yourself a break!
'Where your thoughts go, your energy flows' think about this too: is your energy flowing to the great things you are and what you achieve in your life, or is it going to the habits and traits you would rather be free of? By giving anything space in your head, whether that's forgetfulness, a bad diet, or a fluffed presentation; you are continuing to breathe life into it.
Go on, give it a go :)
Thursday, 26 April 2012
Monday, 9 April 2012
Being you...
When I first met my now great friend and inspiration, Trish, she blessed me. She told me I was beautiful and unique and that there was no other Sarah Kennard in the universe. And that if I wasn't being me, then the universe was missing out. Now, some of that may sound slightly elementary and some of it may feel a bit schmaltzy but most critically, to me it just felt wholly uncomfortable and I wanted to run a mile! Be myself?! I had no idea who I even was! I had perfected the art of being who I thought I wanted to be, with my apparent career success, hard faced attitude, material possessions...and shoes, endless shoes!
I was like a professional shopper, I'm surprised I found time to have a full time job, each weekend was almost ritualistically dedicated to shopping, or researching what I was going to shop for. And then every few weeks, there would be a mass clear out of my wardrobe as I got rid of the things I didn't like any longer, some of them still with tags, to my ever grateful friends (who even now sometimes joke they are dressed in 'K by SK'). I had the retail equivalent of Bulimia: binging and purging, only on possessions as opposed to food. It was mentally and physically exhausting as with each new purchase, I would think it was going to magically transform me into being happy. That sounds ridiculous now and of course I never thought of it in those literal terms at the time.
I'm not going to pretend for one second that I am now skipping through the tulips indulging only in spiritual pastimes, having relinquished all my material possessions! That simply is not the truth; I still like to look good and I still like to party but there is a different energy around it now, and I enjoy those things. I feel that I also like other simpler things in life just as much and that gives me some balance and more importantly, peace in my head. I cherish the times I spend with my family and friends, adore walking my dog and reading and cooking.
I'd like to pass on that blessing to readers of this post: you are beautiful and unique, and if you aren't being you, then the universe is missing out on you. So, go on: Be YOU!
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